I promise, this isn't an unwarranted attack on one of our own. It also isn't anything new:

Juan Uribe is terrible. And there's nothing you can do or say to change my mind.

Let's get this out of the way first - Ned Colletti should be banned from baseball just for signing Uribe after the fluke of a 2010 season he had. Add in the fact that he was a key catalyst to our arch rivals' World Series run and the fact that he signed him for WAY over market value (3 years, $21 million) with money we didn't have? Hell, tar and feather the damn GM. Chase him out of town.

You'd think red flag number one would be watching tape of Uribe playing. Unless Colletti and company only watched him play defense. He's got a fine glove and a strong throwing arm, even if his throws can be erratic.

But he's not a defender so outstanding at the hot corner that he will win a Gold Glove or save a game or anything. In fact, Jonathan Sanchez would be a member of the Perfect Game Club if not for Uribe booting a grounder in his no-hit game in 2010.

Why not keep Casey Blake for less money and the same defense, but more offensive production? I know that's a scary thought. But it's true. Uribe's career batting average is below .250, and his career on-base percentage is staggering at .297.

You have to TRY to fail that hard at getting on base. Oh, did I mention that Uribe has around 900 career strikeouts to his name, compared to 300 or so walks? Awful. Just awful.

It makes sense. Have you seen his swing? It's a wonder he ever makes contact. Sure, it's fun to watch a big, bulky man swing out of his shoes at every pitch. It worked for Vlaimir Guerrero. It works for Prince Fielder. Except they have something Uribe doesn't: a good swing.

Players like Vlad and Prince can afford to take such big hacks, because they still come down through the zone, stay balanced through their swings, KEEP THEIR EYE ON THE BALL (you know, the very first fundamental a young ball player learns...) and don't drop their shoulders.

Uribe is guilty of all of the above, on every single swing. Look, Uribe was clutch for the Giants in 2010. Further proof that the players who made up that Series run (Cody Ross, Pat Burrell...really?) was a magical set of coincidences that aligned perfectly.

If I'm a pitcher, this is my pitch sequence to Uribe every single at-bat: Breaking ball, outside corner, in the zone. Fastball above the letters. Breaking ball, low and away, not even close. If that doesn't get Uribe on three pitches, he's having himself a career day.

Juan Uribe will not hit above .220 in Los Angeles. The time is now, Magic Johnson. Stan Kasten. Ned "Blind as a Bat" Colletti. Get rid of Uribe. Bring up a prospect. Let Justin Sellers or Josh Fields take over the job. I promise, this lineup will get significantly better.

This may come off as harsh just four games into the 2012 season. But this is the culmination of years of confusion for me. Seeing Uribe play with multiple teams, wondering how in the world he still has a Major League job. The numbers back it up. The money is not justified.

Bite the bullet, Colletti. Eat the cash, and cut Uribe's sorry ass before he causes Dodger Nation any more harm.